Love Me or I'll Kill You by Lee Butcher

Author:Lee Butcher [Butcher, Lee]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington
Published: 2014-08-30T04:00:00+00:00

Maher found that Paula’s psychological condition had “deteriorated significantly” when he interviewed her again, on July 30. He said that Paula was “agitated and distressed.” Paula’s voice sounded as if she were on the verge of hysteria, and her body language was that of a frightened person. The chanting, music, and voices were constant. She couldn’t understand what the voices said, but it was frightening.

“It just seems like there’s a bad spirit, something bad, something evil that’s connected to all of this,” she said. Everything that had happened seemed to crash in on her. “I’m sorry for what happened,” she said. “I’m sorry that Chino died and sorry the police officer died. I’m thinking about this all of the time. In spite of everything, I still love Chino.”

Paula’s feelings for Chino weren’t unusual, Maher noted. A battered spouse often mourned the loss of a relationship, even though they were abused.

Paula talked for the first time about how the abuse had been a part of sex with Chino. “He forced me to have sex,” she said. “It aroused him when I cried. Sometimes he would strangle me for his sexual pleasure. He told me that I liked it. I kept telling him I didn’t, but he said I did. After a while, I stopped thinking about it and just heard him telling me that I liked it.”

Paula said she was in the bedroom crying after Chino beat her. “He would come with a hard-on and just do it,” she said. “He would strangle me until all I could see was like tunnel vision. He would do it until I passed out.”

Paula told Maher that Chino forced her to have sex with him. Maher said Paula didn’t realize that she was being raped. “It was very clear she didn’t want to have sex with him,” Maher said. “She thought it would have been clear to him because she was crying and upset. She thought that her crying was sexually stimulating to him.”

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